We went to a very special birthday party today - one of my best friends has five little monkeys (triplets and twins born 13 months apart), and today was their joint birthday party. I wish I had gotten many more pictures from today's events, but we were so busy wrangling the kiddeos that I just couldn't keep snapping photos.
What struck me so much was when my friends Cherie and Kelli, fellow triplet moms, saw my kids and exclaimed, "When did they shoot up so much??" and "When did they stop being babies and turn into toddlers??" Cherie even did a double take and said to me, "Wait, is she yours!?" when she saw me holding Ellie. It's unbelievable how quickly time has flown, and how big and mature my tiny babies have become in so short a time. I know it's a beautiful thing to see, and I know this is what every parent wishes for their children - that they should grow and thrive and develop into little people, but it is still disconcerting to me as a mommy. I worry sometimes that I am missing out on too many of the precious details in the lives of my children and that time is a thief stealing away those moments which I crave so much.
One of the great gifts that infertility gave to me was the certainty that every moment with my children is a gift - not a right - and I try to cherish each milestone, each day, each snapshot in time of parenting all four of my children to the greatest extent possible. I know that some days I fall short of that, but it is what I strive for. I would like to think that I would have taken just as much care to cherish each moment with my children even without the experience of infertility - and I know I would have adored my children, I know I would have loved every moment of parenthood - but I'm quite certain that my perspective is different as a result of infertility. I don't mean to suggest I love my children more, or that people who haven't experienced infertility don't appreciate their children - none of that could possibly be true. Only that for me, I know that I find myself thinking about my gratitude for my children in a way (and with far more frequency) than I think I probably would have had I not had the experience that I had.
But, time does pass, even though sometimes I would love to press the pause button and savor each moment just a little longer. And my kids - all of them - are growing up before my very eyes. Today was Jack, Evan, Will, Noelle, and Lilley's birthday party - another year passing which means just two more months until my kids turn 6 and 2. Holy smokes! They just get cuter and cuter, though! Take a look for yourself!
J-man at the party
Sam with his beloved elephant
Ellie - our little daredevil - standing on the slide
A classic Abby pose - serious and sophisticated
I was so utterly pleased to have ALL of you at the party today. Especially since it really isn't a party if you're not there. AND since I scheduled it on a SUNDAY so you COULD be there! :)
Regardless, I wish I had more to say about your gifts... But I don't. They are truly just that. Gifts, Blessings, Wonderful Miracles.
Posted by: Jessica | July 13, 2009 at 12:57 AM
What an absolutely beautiful post girl! You said it - we love that they grow, but it is all so fast.And they are beautiful!
Posted by: cat | July 13, 2009 at 03:21 AM
You're right. They do look older, all of a sudden.
As for the rest - you're also right. None of us knows how we "might have felt" if we'd travelled a different path, but I hear things said by fertile parents that just spin me around a bit sometimes. One woman said she wanted to "get the baby and toddler parts out of the way quickly" by having the kids all close together. I'm sure she loves her kids and all, but I can't quite bring myself to think like that. And I wouldn't describe myself as a baby-stage person, so I'm sure I would have taken it for granted if not for the infertility.
J-man sounds like he's coming along well.
Bea
Posted by: Bea | July 13, 2009 at 07:13 AM
Hi. I know it is weird to put this comment here, but I am unable to e-mail you through the link at the top of the page. I am Seth's cousin (my mother's maiden name is Wiener, my grandparents are Matthew and Gerry). My family and I live in Baltimore and I think it would be nice to get together and meet your family. I love reading your blog and would like to meet in person. You can e-mail me if you would like. Thanks for sharing your life stories!
Posted by: Frayda Prince | July 14, 2009 at 02:07 PM
little cuties!
Posted by: amber | July 20, 2009 at 04:47 PM
i am cracking up, b/c the picture of ellie - the pose, the facial expression, the standing up on the slide - it's like i'm looking at makayla!!! she's our little daredevil!! (although lately, mackenzie has been taking lessons...) and yes, i too am amazed both at how yours and mine have so quickly become toddlers and no longer look like babies!
i absolutely do think that any mama who has had a loss or who has dealt with infertility DOES have a different kind of perspective on life and on being a mom...a different kind of knowledge that only comes from that kind of pain...and it does make us squeeze them a bit tighter, linger a bit longer, appreciate the ordinary miracles a bit more.
Posted by: Jennifer Clark | July 21, 2009 at 11:46 PM
That was so lovely,, god bless him,,
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