It's been hard for me to post the past couple of months because I've been stretched too thin. There's been too much going on, and I've felt like I've slacked too much as a parent to own up to it in my blog. But on the other hand, one thing I do pride myself on is that I don't try to sugarcoat parenthood in my writing. I write about the good with the bad, the bad with the good. You know that I'm not supermom, and you know that I do my very best, even when my very best isn't good enough. So much of my failing to blog is my lack of desire to admit my failings, but more of it is simply that I really have been stretched so thin I haven't been able to find the time to do it justice.
We've been struggling, as always, to get the J-man to take his medication. Two weeks ago, I reached my own personal nadir of parenting as I found myself on the phone with our developmental pediatrician on a Sunday morning in tears, having reached my absolute limit with the struggles to get him to take the medication. He had refused for days to take the medicine, and his impulse control and activity were clearly reflecting the lack of medication. I was at my wits' end. The doctor proposed a compromise that got us through the next two weeks, and then we sat down and had a pow wow in his office to work on a plan. We will see how that plan works - I'll keep you posted. So far, it seems to be working reasonably well.
One of the reasons I haven't been writing about the J-man is because I've been feeling extremely protective about him for the last several months. A close friend of mine, someone who is a professional in a field which works closely with kids with ADHD, so she ought to have a basic understanding of the issues that he faces on a daily basis, said some very cruel things about him to me and it has shaken me. Though she should understand ADHD, she clearly does not. She has no tolerance for ADHD kids or their issues, and she clearly thinks that they are simply ill-behaved children with no self-control who could do better if they only tried hard enough. (Mind you, her own gaggle of children are not without their own issues, but that's another story). Since then, I've felt self-conscious about writing about our challenges with ADHD, behaviour management, medication compliance, etc. because I fear that people will judge him. He is the sweetest child you'll ever meet - you should know that. He doesn't have a malicious bone in his body. He craves positive attention and when he gets it, he lights up. He delights in doing well, he works hard, he cries when he realizes that he's made an impulsive (and incorrect) choice. He is an extraordinarily challenging child to parent, but ultimately, an extraordinarily rewarding child to parent. We are blessed to have been given the opportunity to have him in our lives. I don't always believe that I'm up to the challenge, and I know part of my failing as a parent is that I *do* stretch myself too thin to be an exceptional parent, but I know that sometimes, being adequate is good enough. I will strive for exceptional next month.
The triplets, as usual, are exceptionally easy babies toddlers. But I know that even so, I am failing to be more than simply adequate to meet their needs right now. Sam, Ellie, and Abby are all getting developmental therapy twice a month through the Infants and Toddlers (Early Intervention) Program in our County. They are also getting Speech Therapy every week. And now Abby is getting Physical Therapy twice a month. Just meeting the demands of their therapy schedule is tough. But their temperments are changing as well. They need more attention and individualized care. Ellie is still the sweet quiet one, but whenever she's quiet, you know she's up to something... and she's always quiet. Abby requires constant vigilence for if you don't hold her or protect her from the other babies' interference constantly, she is bound to be in a constant snit. Sam is quite independent, but such a love and craves snuggles and hugs on a regular basis. They deserve to have someone interacting with them far more frequently than they have. They deserve to be read to far more frequently than they are. They deserve far more snuggles than they get. They deserve to see far more of their parents than they do.
But you know? I work full time, and I still manage to be there for every one of their therapy appointments. I'm still home for 95% of their breakfasts. (I make them omelets a few times a week, even). I work from home 1-2 days per week so that I can be with them at lunchtime and dinner time. I am always home for bed time (depsite the fact that they go to bed ridiculously early - 6pm!). I make them pancakes every Sunday morning.
It's not perfect. It's not exceptional. It's not what I'd pictured for myself as the picture-perfect Mommy. But it *is* adequate. And my kids won't grow up remembering that I didn't always pick out their clothes every morning, and I wasn't the one who fed them dinner most days when they were a year old, and that I wasn't the one who gave them most of their baths their first couple of years. At least I hope not. I hope what they remember is that when I was here with them I gave them love and snuggles and attention. That I tickled them and told them how much I love them.
So? You want some pictures? Really? Okay, since you asked so nicely.
J-man - Not to worry! He's since gotten a haircut! :) I love his kooky little grin. He's been a little camera shy lately, so it's been hard to get pictures of him, but when I *can* get him in the picture, he still hams it up!
Sam-man. He's such a love. He is definitely a mama's boy, but he loves anyone who will love him back. He's extremely active, but he does take time out to snuggle. He still loves his elephant blankets, and he still loves his pacifiers, though he's more and more willing to give them up for longer periods of time. He is completely oblivious to the idea of personal space and seems not to notice that he's living with two other toddlers - he just pushes right past them to get at whatever he has his eye on.
Ellie-bean - such a sweet girl. And such a mischievous one, too. There is always something in her mouth, or being dumped over or being taken apart. And Ellie is always the culprit. She's quiet, but sneaky.
Abba-dabba. Abby is quick to a temper tantrum, but she's also the easiest to make laugh, and has a broad quick smile, and an easy, happy little laugh. She is the least good sleeper, but when she wakes up in the morning, she's the happiest, bounciest, cuddliest of them all. Maybe she just needs less sleep. I wish she needed more.
Speaking of sleep - I am now several hours past my bed time...
Recent Comments