Cliches and Blasts from the Past

I started blogging here well into my IF experience. By the time I started this blog, I'd already had several years of TTC, years of charting, 5 Clomid cycles, 3 IUIs... We'd already had J in our lives for some time by then. And, something I rarely talk about, we'd almost adopted a baby. So let me tell you the Cliffs Notes version of that story...

I got a call in January 2006 from a Rabbi friend of mine saying that he'd gotten some information through the grapevine about a young woman who was looking for an Orthodox family to adopt a baby that she was pregnant with. Were we interested? Well, sure, we were interested in finding out more, but certainly not interested in committing to anything without knowing more details. Turned out this young woman was not a Conservative woman in a nearby state, had been involved with an older (unmarried) gentleman and found herself, um, in a "family way" despite having been on the pill, and he was, well, less than supportive. She was not in a profession that she felt could support a single-mother lifestyle, neither financially nor logistically.

I can't remember exactly why she wanted an Orthodox family... she herself wasn't Orthodox, but I think she was looking to have her child raised in a traditional home with a sense of values which would hopefully lead to choices in that child's adult life which would preclude such a predicament for them. She had a list of questions that the Rabbi that she had contacted in her home state sent out to potential candidates, so we figured, "what the heck" and we sent in our answers. She asked for some pictures, too, so we sent in pictures, including some pictures of us with J. Sure enough, out of the dozens of "applications" she received, she wanted to speak with us (I think she spoke to a few others as well). I spoke with her (I'll call her SL) on the phone several times, and we emailed several times a day every day for a week.

After about a week and a half, SL decided she wanted us to adopt her baby. We had some time, since she wasn't due until the summer, but I made a list of things that I'd need to take care of... we were talking about dealing with an adoption across two states so I had to figure out how to make that happen and who to retain as a lawyer, etc.

A few weeks later, I went to go visit my grandmother, who was very sick (she died the following summer). While I was there, SL had a miscarriage. When I returned home a couple days later, I was planning to have lunch with SL. On my way up, I found out that SL was in the hospital, so I met her at the ER. She ended up with emergency surgery and lost a fallopian tube.

SL and I continued to maintain an email correspondence for some time. I got pregnant shortly after her baby would have been born and we fell out of touch. Three months later, I had a miscarriage. I didn't hear from her again until last month when out of the blue she emailed me randomly. I told her about the miscarriage, the subsequent triplet pregnancy and delivery, sent her some pictures. She told me she'd made a career change, went back to school and had just graduated with a business degree and was about to start a master's degree at a prestigious New England University.

I'm really happy for her. But it DID throw me off my game for a few days for some reason.

Little did I know how FAR off my game I was going to be thrown, because today I received THIS email:

I had been feeling tired the last few days, and my tummy was cranky so I went to the urgent care center thinking I was coming down with something. I was. I am pregnant...

So she was on the pill. Only one fallopian tube. One night stand on a trip up to visit her soon-to-be-new-University. Her period is TWO days late, and she already knows she's pregnant, just because she was feeling weird. Not so much an infertile-myrtle. I swear, I'm surrounded by cliches. You have got to be kidding me!

Comments

[fatloss007]

oh i am sorry for your grandmom's death :(

[Malky B.]

So does she want you to adopt this one, should the pregnancy last?