I don't curse a lot in my blog, if you haven't noticed. In real life I curse like a sailor's daughter (appropriate, since my dad was a submariner), but in the blogosphere, not so much. But honestly, I don't know what else to title this post. I've been trying to write it all day, but I just can't. So instead of really writing the full-blown story of what transpired, here are the basic important details:
July 5 cervix length: 4+ centimeters
July 11 cervix length: 3+ centimeters
July 16 cervix length: 1.5-2.3 centimeters (variable... apparently I have a "dynamic" cervix, which isn't quite the compliment that it sounds like)
Today, for the first time, I didn't hear about the fact that I would have a scheduled c-section at 34 weeks. Today I heard a new, and extremely frightening phrase: "We are hoping to get you to 28 weeks. Every week beyond that is bonus."
So I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone with my foul language, but I truly don't know WHAT to say other than FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK is right. 28 weeks is rough, but you are with a good practice so you know they will take care of you, regardless of when it happens.I will say some crazy cervix lengthening prayers for you. Okay, maybe I'm praying for something that's physiologically impossible, but shit people, what else can I do?
Posted by: Leah | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Swear as much you need too! I don't often swear in my journal either, so I know exactly how important it is when you DO swear. ;)In fact, you should write some more...type every day, post every hour! (But do it all in bed or in that recliner you are speaking of).
Posted by: hadjare | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
That is certainly frightening. I am so sorry. I hope you caught it in time and, with bedrest and good care, will safely make it well into the bonus weeks.Thank you for updating us.
Posted by: Anonymous | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
fuck - that sucks! I don't curse much in real life but I think this situation warrants it. you are in my thoughts. take care.
Posted by: Egged Out | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Swear all you want - I'm here praying and crossing fingers and toes for you.
Posted by: WimZeeBee | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I don't think fuck even captures it! You better be typing this from your bed...Seriously, let me know if you need me to bring anything by...
Posted by: LJ | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Fuck fuck fuck - and yea, as LJ said, you better be typing from bed. Jesus, here's hoping it'll slow down and give you more time.
Posted by: chicklet | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
fuck fuck fuck indeed! sending looooong good vibes your way. ack! take it easy!!!
Posted by: pam | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Fuck, indeed. I am so sorry. Take care of yourself...
Posted by: Sticky Bun | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
allow me to join the chorus. fuck fuck fuck. damnit, karen's cervix. we don't need to you be dynamic. we need you to be strong, stoic, and static! are you on bedrest now?
Posted by: megan | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I know how hard it is, because I dealt with it with my twins. At 20.5 weeks, I had less than 2 CM left, BUT, I was on strict bedrest and a terb pump, and made it all the way to 35 weeks on the dot. My boys are fine. You are at higher risk for sure, but nobody knows now how far you can make it, and it may well be past 28 weeks. That said, the bedrest itself will be very hard and uncomfortable. You can do this though - you are obviously a strong and capable woman, and you can complain to us all you want. Let people help you - now is a time to learn to accept help gracefully. It's really a good skill to have, and will always help you be a better friend to others in need after this difficult time has passed. You are in my thoughts and prayers. P.S. you may want to check out http://www.sidelines.org/ if you haven't already for bedrest support from those who have been there. Also, in a few weeks, you'll be eligible for the fetal fibronectin test, which may give you some piece of mind. it was a godsend for me to take that test at 24 weeks and know we'd make it to 2, then take it again to know we'd make it to 28.
Posted by: Emmie (Better Make It A Double) | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
TOTAL FUCK!
Posted by: Sunny | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Say fuck as much as you fucking need to say fuck, and fuck anyone who has a fucking problem with it.And I'm telling your cervix to keep it's dynamism to a minimum - it can be as dynamic as it likes once you hit 34 weeks, dammit.
Posted by: Adrienne | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
woman, for sure let it out! jeez...i know how scary a shortening cervix is...it sucks! your docs talking hospital bedrest anytime soon? man, i'm so sorry...i'm right there with ya!
Posted by: Suzanne | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
OH SHIT..I am so sorry to read this post Karen. Are they talking about hosptial bedrest or putting you on any medication to try and stop the contractions?
Posted by: triplet mama | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Go on disability stay in bed be MORE agressive managing your body than the Dr. Says... go go go!
Posted by: Anonymous | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
If I could send you a hug in the mail and some magic glue I would put the both in a box and send them. Praying for you and the babies. (would have said I was praying for your cervix but well that just sounds weird). My sister was a 28 weeker and she is a genius. Hang in there and you can say as many curse words as you would like. :)
Posted by: butterflyanla | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
If swearing keeps you calm then swear away! Have been reading your posts for a while and will keep my fingers crossed for you! It is amazing what they can do now a days to keep those babes in, your part is to keep calm and informed. Let everyone who can help, do so. You can do it! The best to you!
Posted by: Meroo | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I'd say you are definitely allowed to swear at this point. Are they going to do anything about this dynamic cervix of yours?
Posted by: Thalia | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I think fuck is the appropriate word. Fuck. That is about all I can say, too.
Posted by: My Reality | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I'll be keeping you and your little ones in my thoughts...
Posted by: squarepeg | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Oh fuck!! You aren't kidding, FUCK!! I would be swearing like crazy right now if I were you too! 28 weeks is so early! But thankfully you've got a Doc who knows what he's doing. I'm wishing you all the best, and hope that your cervix slows down!! I second LJs sentiments- please let me know ifyou need anything! I'm just a quick drive away. Get loads of rest, and try not to stress too much (yeah, right!). I'm thinking about you!!
Posted by: Shelby | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
What does this mean for you now? Bedrest? Hospital bedrest? I'll be hoping that dynamic cervix gets NO SHORTER.
Posted by: twirl | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I'm here if you need me, but you already know that. And swear all you want, after having 5 kids in 2 years, I understand your pain... I swear.
Posted by: Jessica | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Oh fuck is right. I hope that now that you're not working, it will take some strain off your cervix and it'll stay where it is for the next 10 or so weeks. I'm praying for a healthy outcome for your babies.
Posted by: Erin | July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM