Miscellaneous

DC Get-Together
I think I posted that I was going to get together with some DC-area bloggers. I almost chickened out, but I decided to be a grown-up and just walk up to a group of random women who looked like they might just be a bunch of infertility bloggers. Thank heavens I picked the right group! There were nine of us there, and we really had a terrific time. I felt a little bit awkward at first, being the token pregnant-lady there, and it's not like I can even hide it at this point. I mean, I'm fat in the first place, but at this point, I definitely am visibly pregnant and I can't just pass it off as too many pints of Ben and Jerry's. Anyway, no one seemed too bothered by it. My husband had suggested I wear a nametag that said, "Hello My Name Is Myrtle" but I declined. ;)

At any rate, it was a fabulous group of women and I'm thrilled to pieces that I got over my ridiculous self long enough to take a deep breath and walk up to a group of strangers, because it was truly the most enjoyable evening I've had in quite some time. Even if I did have to get up to pee four times (and seriously, we could NOT have been seated further away from the bathroom!). Good thing I'd insisted on sitting on the end. What a fabulous group of women we were, though! I think we may have scared the waiter a little bit, but that's okay. It just means he earned his gratuity, right? It was a touching and hilarious night. Lindsay was so sweet and perfect, and such a doll for organizing the group in the first place. I hope we do this again soon! (though I don't know if I'll be able to make the next one... it totally depends on whether I do get stuck on real bedrest... we'll see) Maybe next time we can have pedicures and mojitos (virgin for me - oh the irony!) at my place. :)

Some Questions Answered

Are you going to find out the sexes? Most emphatically, no. I have no intention of finding out what flavor these babies are. I figure I should get to do at least ONE thing the old fashioned way! Plus, our lives will be upside down no matter what, I seriously doubt it's going to matter whether they're boys or girls, and it's likely that we'll have a mix regardless of how they're distributed. My husband, I think, would really like to find out. But, well, I kind of have veto power when it comes to the dildo-cam. Plus, his logic with finding out with a singleton was that it would be easier to plan. I don't think the logic holds with triplets. I don't think you can really plan for triplets, you just have to pray a lot! :)

When are you due? Heck if I know. I don't even know how to answer that question. I'm due November 6, technically. Except, that's never going to happen. I will deliver no later than September 26, which is exactly 34 weeks (also erev sukkot). I hope to at LEAST make it to September 12, which is 32 weeks, which I don't think will be a problem. My perinatologist gets almost all their triplet patients to 34 weeks, with very, very few exceptions.

When does bed rest start? Heck if I know. I was originally told that it would unequivocally start this week. However, that appears to be more flexible than I was originally led to believe. Apparently because I'm doing so well, I get to lead the decision on when bed rest begins. I believe most of why I'm doing so well is that with only a couple of exceptions, if I'm not at work, I'm at home on bed rest. The DC Get Together was one such exception. But I've otherwise gone straight home and curled up in a recliner or my bed and not moved until I have to (usually to pee! Gah!). I intend to remain relatively strict about this, because I do enjoy the flexibility to occasionally break my self-imposed rules. I would not be so cavalier about breaking doctor-mandated bed rest. So for the moment, I'm not on bed rest officially and won't be until I feel it's necessary or until the doctors get uncomfortable. And that's all I know.

Some Sad Googling

heavy bleeding contraction-like cramps: I'm going to assume whoever wrote this query is pregnant. Even if you're not pregnant, the best advice I can give you is to contact your doctor. It could be nothing serious. I hope it's nothing serious. But your doctor should know what's going on.

iui cycle failed: I'm so sorry. I've been there, and it's no fun. The best thing for me after a failed cycle was knowing what would be happening next. A new IUI cycle? An IVF cycle? Same Protocol? Change in Protocol? I liked to know all of that ahead of time, before it failed, not because I wanted to be pessimistic, but because it helped me take a failed cycle and psychologically turn it into a new beginning.

cyst in ovaries while pregnant: I haven't had this problem, and I know it's not uncommon. But there are so many ways this could be read. It depends on how big the cysts are, how many, what kind of cysts they are, etc. The good news is that you wouldn't know that you had cysts if your doctor didn't know, so I don't have to worry that you aren't under a doctor's care. I hope you are able to find out what your options/needs are from your doctor. If you aren't comfortable with your doctor's advice, please seek a second or third opinion.

triplet pregnancy blogs: This, of course, isn't one of the sad ones. You got me. I've definitely got a triplet pregnancy blog.

ovaries and kidneys picture with uti: I'm not quite sure what to make of this one. Anyone got any help on this one?

my ovaries hurts is that a sign that i might be pregnacy: More likely your ovaries being sensitive is a sign that you ovulated. The surest sign that you're pregnant is the presence of hCG in your blood and urine by about 14 days post ovulation. So wait a week or two and POAS.

ovary uncomfortable: That certainly sounds unpleasant, though I often wonder how women know that it is specifically their ovary that feels uncomfortable.

severe pain in my ovaries: Any time someone suggests "severe" pain to me, I suggest contacting your physician. Anything that far outside the range of normal should be reported to your doctor.

cramps near ovaries during early pregnancy is it normal? Yes.

menstrual cramps worse after iui: This is also normal. I didn't have cramping after all of my IUIs, but I did after a few of them, and it's very normal. Introducing anything into the uterine environment can cause it to contract, which will cause that cramping feeling. Now if what you meant was after a failed IUI the cramps associated with the subsequent period are worse than normal... well, that's normal too... especially if you were on progesterone supplements. It's really unfair.

Something that Shocked Me (in a good way)
I forgot to mention that at my perinatology appointment last week, I'd made a crack at Dr. G about being bitter that they weren't going to let me push these babies out the old fashioned way. I gave my usual shpiel about how I figure the babies are going to be so tiny that they'll just come right out, no problem!

His response astounded me. Instead of their usual bit about "fetal distress", "maternal hemmorhage", "healthy outcome" and all that rational, logical stuff, he said, "well, it's just that to do a vaginal triplet delivery everything has to line up perfectly and the odds are really low that it will, especially since you don't have a lot of room for them to move around in there, but I've done it. Both Dr. P and I have done vaginal triplet deliveries." Really? I mean, REALLY? Here I was just giving my usual joke figuring on the usual rational, logical answer, and I'm hearing that it STILL DOES HAPPEN?

"Look," he said, "when the time gets closer, if everything is lining up perfectly, which it probably won't, and you still want to talk about it, we can absolutely do that, but you have to understand how low the odds are of it happening that way, and you have to understand that we reserve the right at all times to tell you that we're not going to do it." I totally get that. But I mean... really? It could happen? Even just that 0.0000000001% chance? Really? Sure, but don't count on it. Especially if the previa doesn't completely resolve itself (it's moved significantly, but it's still in the way a bit).

Still, something about the c-section not being completely written in stone makes me feel a zillion times better. I have the absolute dumbest reason for not wanting a c-section. I want nothing to do with an epidural. Now, if I did a vaginal delivery, I'd still have to have an epidural in place, though I wouldn't have to have drugs running through it. But my fear of the epidural is two-fold: First, I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever want a needle in or near my spinal column ever. Second, I don't want to not be able to feel the lower half of my body. This terrifies me. I had a TIA when I was 23, and it was terrifying not to be able to move or feel my left side. I never want to purposely experience that again. So while I wouldn't get out of having the needle in/near my spinal column, I COULD get out of having to be numb in my lower half. I mean, it's NEVER going to happen. There is no possibility that I'm not having a c-section. But there's something comforting about being able to pretend for a few weeks that I have options.

Update: Carol mentioned that she'd been wondering why a c-section seemed to be the default for triplet deliveries on TV... e.g. is it because it's easier for the doctors or because vaginal triplet deliveries aren't possible? The answer is that in MOST cases, vaginal deliveries aren't safe for mother OR babies. Certainly it IS easier for the doctors (and less liability), but there's mostly the fact that very few triplet pregnancies really are conducive to safe vaginal deliveries. I'm very certain that I will not be allowed to have a vaginal delivery, but I still find it oddly comforting that my doctors are willing to consider the conversation if by some miracle everything really did line up perfectly and the stars were perfectly aligned and the moons were in all the right houses and I sacrified the right color goat...

Advice Sought re: Childbirth Class
Here's the thing. I feel like if I were a responsible parent-to-be, I would take a parenting/childbirth class. Except that they are largely geared toward women having singleton, vaginal deliveries, which, we all know, I am not. So there are multiples classes available, except not so much. The closest class to me that's a multiples class is in Baltimore and it's only offered on Saturdays, which doesn't so much work for me. (My rabbi doesn't seem to want to give me one of those "Get out of being Jewish for a Day" cards... drat!) Okay, so to heck with those options.

I COULD take a caesarean class. EXCEPT, honestly, those are basically about what to expect from the procedure, the anesthesia, and recovery. Oh, and you get to watch a video of a c-section. Now, I've seen LOTS of videos of c-sections. I have had surgery before. I am not freaked out or anxious about the c-section per se. My irrational fears of the epidural aside, I have no anxiety about this in the least. I know what is going to happen, I understand my role ("lay there and do what we say"), I know what recovery from abdominal surgery is like, and I know it will suck a lot more than recovery from having my gall bladder removed laproscopically. So what's the point? Even the nurse at the perinatologist's office said if I wasn't feeling anxiety about the c-section, I probably wouldn't get much out of any such class.

So aside from getting my infant-CPR renewed, which I'd rather do closer to the delivery anyway, what should I do? Should I just accept that you don't have to take some ridiculous class in order to be a responsible parent-to-be?

My husband also wanted to take a "Daddy Boot Camp" type class but every area hospital that has a Dads 101/Daddy Boot Camp/whatever you want to call it class offers it only on Saturdays, which, again, doesn't work for us. So now he's looking for some sort of book, but from what I can tell, all the dad-centric books are awful, so I think he'll just have to wing it, unless you all have any suggestions.

Comments

[dmarie]

I'm so glad you came and I got to meet you! It's also great that your pregnancy is going so well! What a blessing :)

[Rachel Inbar]

Wow, the meeting sounds great!I'm with you on not finding out the genders. With us, my in-laws were convinced we knew (we didn't) and were trying to draw the answer out of us (which was partly funny but mostly annoying). I guess it's pretty rare not to want to know nowadays.About the vaginal delivery, I know what you mean. I hope they decide to line up nicely - so nicely that the doctors say they HAVE to skip the c-section :-)

[Carol]

Yes! I am so happy to hear that you are not finding out the genders! We are not finding out about our twins and we are definitely rare. Nobody understands - all the family wants to know. But I feel exactly the same as you - there was nothing old fashioned about conceiving these babies, so I would at least like to find out who they are the old fashioned way.And a triplet vaginal birth? that would be amazing. I've wondered about that. It seems to just be the default to do a CS, at least on all the tv shows I watch - that I've wondered if it's because they can't be delivered vaginally, or if it's just because that's easier for the doctors. I agree with you that it's at least nice to know that your chances of a C/S are not 100%. On the classes - we are signed up for the multiples birthing class. fortunately our hospital offers it, just a few miles from our house. but another possibility - our hospital offers 'private' classes. If you get put on hospital bed rest (which you might at some point, right?) then you have the right to arrange to have the birth educator come to you and do a private session. So I wonder if that's an option at your hospital? That way at least you could get your basic questions answered, but don't have to sit through a singleton class that wouldn't be useful for you at all.Good luck!

[Carol]

oh - and also - when people make comments like "how can you prepare for the babies if you don't find out the genders?!?" I just say "what do I need to prepare? all a newborn baby needs is a nipple and a diaper!".:-)

[Michelle]

I agree with Carol - how does knowing the gender help you to prepare any better? I wanted to find out, so we did. And now we own a LOT of pink outfits, all given as gifts. Is that what they mean by preparation?Re: books for dad. A friend just loaned my husband a book called "Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads." There's some "guy humor" in there (how to make a diaper from a towel, tube sock, and duct tape, for example), but he was reading last night and said that there's also some good, practical information.

[decemberbaby]

I don't know what you have around you, but up here there are prenatal classes offered through the Jewish Community Centre. Needless to say, they're not held on Saturdays. And Carol makes a good point - you might be able to find an independent instructor and get your own private classes (or semi-private, if you can find someone who wants to share). I get not wanting to find out the genders. I actually don't care one way or another, but if I do find out I will NOT be telling any of the friends or family until the baby is born. Someone should be surprised!

[pam]

all TV shows except Friends, of course. Phoebe had a vaginal delivery. Oh. You meant *real* TV shows? :PGlad to hear you're not finding out the genders. I'm going to use your rationale next time someone gives me flack about it.

[katy]

I'm just a lurker coming out of lurkdome for a comment. I had both of my children via c-section and I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to recover. I had an epidural with the first one and a spinal with the second and I most definately preferred the epidural. I was allowed up as soon as I wanted and they turned the medicine off I started getting feeling back pretty quickly.I didn't want to know the sex of my children either because I wanted the doctor to be able to tell me like he is supposed to "It's a girl" or "It's a boy."

[LJ]

I'm blushing over here, I really am.I just wanted to also say thank you, you are such a wealth of knowledge on so many things. It was nice having you around.

[Lea Bee]

it was great to meet you. i know i said that already, but still.

[My Reality]

I wouldn't be afriad of a c-section or really even an epidural. It is the thought of being awake and feeling the tugging and stuff that makes me queasy. Not that I have to worry about that now, but you know, if the time ever did come, that is what terrifies me.I am glad the peri's will consider a vaginal birth. If everything lines up!

[Changing Expectations]

It was great meeting you! I am in awe of your strength and stamina.

[Malky B.]

My mom had a friend who gave birth to triplets vaginally so it is possible. You might want to consider taking a class just in case this happens to you. If you don't want an epidural you will want to learn breathing techincs to help you cope with the pain. These classes usually also deal with breast feeding so there's more to learn besides vaginal birth.

[Pamela Jeanne]

Okay, I just found your blog through Mel's Commetathon and I gotta say, the triplets thing really caught me off guard. That's some successful infertility treatment. You've left me almost speechless...

[Indie Mama]

hmmm...not sure if this applies, but if you at all going to attempt to nurse you might want to check out a breastfeeding class. some stores have them attached to the store, and they can help you pick out a pump and you'll have met a lactation consultant and know them should you need one. just a thought! also, i also didn't take the c-section course when i knew i'd have to have a c-section (due to breech position and some other medical problems) because i have a medical background and decided i didn't need it. it wasn't a big deal, but i do think they talk a bit about the aftercare (how long the foley will be in - this is different for each hosipital, stiches vs stapes for different insicions, and aftercare for the incisions). maybe just bring up the topics with mfm/ob if you're not planning on the class. good luck!p.s. we have "Be Prepared" and my husband loved it! = )

[Jody]

Take the time and trouble to check out post-partum doulas with your type of philosophy to feeding, schedules, etc., instead. The breastfeeding class? I would call your local LLL and see if there's a multiples group in DC. First, they're far less likely to be militant, and second, they're going to know from the variety of troubles that happen when you're establishing BF with premature and just-term multiples (plus in the NICU, should that happen). You might also want to get the scuttlebutt on your NICU/hospital LC, because if she's not supportive or informed about BF multiples, you want to have that doula or LLL person around after delivery.Our LC was incredibly supportive -- she's the reason why I BF'd as long as I did -- but she wasn't very knowledgable, and some of her info about what was necessary ended up hurting my establishment of a strong supply. [My number-one conviction: you cannot go more than four hours between pumpings at night when establishing a supply, "rest helps" be damned -- unless you are one of those miracle gushers. My second conviction: better to pump for brief periods very frequently than long periods longer apart. But let's not get diverted, since I have no idea what your feeding plan is.]Our peris would have let us trial a vaginal delivery if we'd reached 36 weeks and both the lower babies were vertex. We only made it to 32 weeks, and one was breech. Even some mothers who qualify for a trial of vaginal labor decide to decline the option, because the odds of the second or third baby developing distress and needing a c-section are higher (especially for the third baby) and the you get the double-whammy recovery.

[mother in israel]

I heard about a mom of twins who refused a c/s because she wanted a pidyon haben. . .I suggest going to a bf support group before you give birth. Some large cities have groups for multiples, but even if not, you can get a lot of tips. Do you have "Mothering Multiples"?My friend is pg with twins and is also hoping for a vaginal birth--any day now.I don't think that a prenatal class is the best way to learn about bf.

[Erin]

I agree that a prenatal class isn't the best way to learn about BF, but it's something. The actual breastfeeding classes are probably better, and an LLL leader would be the best. I would contact the local Mothers of Multiples club also to see if they have recommendations about LC's who are particularly experienced with preemies and those issues.Hooray for your doc being so open about a possible vaginal birth! I hope everything lines up perfectly and that it's an option for you. As far as that, I would look into a private instructor who can come to your house. Maybe call the hospital or childbirth teachers around you (check with Bradley, Birthing from Within, even some Lamaze are pretty good). Knowing all about labor and how to deal with it will help even if you do have to have a c-sec.I'm glad that you're not automatically on bedrest yet--it sounds like you're doing everything perfectly and the babies are behaving as well. We didn't find out P's gender and wouldn't find out the genders of any others that we have biologically. It was such fun to find out that my intuition that I was having a son was right the moment he was born! Some people say the birth is a celebration anyway and they don't feel that knowing ahead of time is a big deal, but that definitely added to it for me.

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to comment and let you know there is a lady in Triplet Connection, who not only had a triplet vaginal birth but did it at home in a swimming pool! I had an emergency c-section at 31 weeks, so I didnot have a choice. Don't waste your time with the classes. Kimberly and the GA Guinn Tripswww.guinnfamilyhome.com

[SaraS-P]

I find the idea of a vaginal triplet delivery frightening. There is just much that could go wrong. Only Phoebe on Friends could have a smooth one.

[Stacie]

Hey - I found you from the Odes at Stirrup Queens. Congratulations. My childbirth class was a waste of time. Totally. Utterly. Ask triplet mothers (and some twin mothers, though we won't be quite as useful to you) and c-section mothers what they did/wish they had done/are glad they did and sort through the advice. Some of it will be useful, and all of it will be more useful than a normal birthing class.I was terrified of an epidural, and ended up needing a spinal for an unplanned section. It wasn't actually nearly as terrifying as I had thought it would be, mostly because I was rather distracted by the monumental fact that I was about to give birth. The morphine helped too.The list of "things I would do differently if by some freak chance I were pregnant again" includes not finding out the genders. Continued good luck!

[triLcat]

Having listened to every argument in the known universe about why it's good to know the gender, I will say that there's no compelling reason to know, and that the idea of it being a surprise is way cooler. Your babies can wear white or yellow for a few days until someone has time to go out and buy some pinks and/or blues (though I'm sure at least one friend will volunteer to run out and get some pinks/blues to bring babies home in)Besides you have the Jewish tradition of not buying anything before the birth and everyone who does it manages okay in the end. (My nerves can't take it, but that's just me...)I wish you good luck in getting to a vaginal delivery. I hope that you get your wish, but more importantly, that all four of you finish up healthy and happy!

[hi my name is mommy]

WOW! Congratulations on the triplet pregnancy. I am super bummed that I missed out on the DC get together! I guess I am just a tad late finding your blog. I live in VA, very close to DC and I am always looking to bond with Mom's like myself:) I am glad you were brave enough to put aside your fears and meet them...that's awesome.I really loved what you wrote about in your heart surgery/migraine post about how you so badly want these babies and all of the pains you would gladly endure in exchange for them. That's so sweet & heartfelt. As someone who thought she would never have the privledge of having children & then ended up being Blessed with three, I can really relate!Great to find you...let's stay in touch!

[Sunny]

Oh I hate that I missed the meeting! I hope I get to make next time and meet you!

[luminosity]

Lurker exposing myself. In regard to birthing triplets vaginally: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5892030206214460724This is not my video, but I do know that this woman's last name is Mathis and she has a livejournal blog -- http://sualkin.livejournal.com/A warning, of sorts, is needed to preface this video. She did carry her triplets to term, they were healthy at birth, but there are other (significant and life-altering) medical issues that arose with her daughter a few months into life. You can find out more of the details about this via her blog. The video will have most in tears by the end, but it undoubtedly worth a viewing.Best of luck to you, and I'm sure you'll be hearing from me again.