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« Anxious | Main | So far, So good »

May 03, 2007

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Erin

Hear, hear! I have found that I am a good SAHM...for the summers. I am itchy and needing adult interactions by the end of that time. I enjoy working, and a college is perfect for my need for flexibility. I get to spend time with P and also get conversations that don't include "Why?" in every other sentence. It's possible that J will be making enough in a couple of years that we could afford for me not to work. And yet, I will continue to work. I'm a better mom because I work, though there are rabid SAHM's who would deny that's even possible. I don't want to be a full-time SAHM. And I shouldn't have to justify that choice. You don't either. You need to do what's right for your family. If the best choice for you is to work, whether for financial or personal reasons (or both), then no one should tell you that's wrong.

SaraS-P

Yes, people need to stop judging. I am sure you will manage to get in adequate "parenting" even while working!

Twisted Ovaries

OH MY GOD-I got this EXACT comment on my other blog yesterday, and I'm still fuming. I don't understand what makes people think that what they did for their kids - or even if they don't have kids, what they would do for their hypothetical kids - is what is right for all. My commenter wrote along the lines of "how could I allow someone else to raise my babies?" I am raising my babies. Someone else gets to watch them during the day. There's a difference. I side with you-there is good and bad in either staying at home or going back to work. But it's not for others to judge, each situation is different. We won't move house and live on Ramen noodles either, this is our choice, too.Just wait until we start telling people we're training the babies for a career in the carnie life. That'll be interesting.(Yes, I'm kidding on that one.)

triLcat

I think it would be ideal if every mother could stay home for as long as she wanted with her kids and have completely flexible hours with both work and daycare options.Sadly, we do live in reality. Truthfully, though, many full-time moms (I don't like the term SAHM, b/c to be happy being with your kids all day every day, you can't be staying at home all day every day. You have to be outside among other humans..) are very happy that way, and many decide that a year or two is plenty... it really depends on the mother.

Chris

I bet she's the same kind of person that would bust out the old "Why don't you just adopt" nonesense. I wonder what makes some people think that they know what's best for everyone?

suzanne

ugh! my blood is boiling reading your blog! i completely agree! some people just don't seem to understand how frickin' expensive it is going to be to bring 2,3, or 4 babies home from the hospital at the same time. how can ANYONE afford that? i am in the SAME boat with my disbility running out before I even give BIRTH to the quads! so, i can completely understand your fears and frustrations!

Carol

sounds like a very strange conversation. it's amazing how so many people don't think twice about shoving their opinions on you. what works for one does not necessarily work for others. And plenty of our parents worked when we were babies, and I think we turned out just fine!I will be working after the twins too. I'd love to not work full time, but that's not really an option for us either. Like you - we could drastically change our lifestyle and maybe make it work - but then we wouldn't be happy. Maybe part time at some point would work out.And I agree with Chris - she probably is one of those 'just adopt' types!

My Reality

Come on, can you really define parenting as staying home with your children? Hell no. There are many parents who do stay home with their children who are doing a lousy job. You will find a way to make this work for you and all of your children. And you will do the best you can. No child could ask for more.

Andria and Co.

I recently stopped working, and have to now deal with the, Oh... so what DOOOOOO you do all day? It ticks me off. I feel that I have rode both sides of the fence (Being a working mom, and a SAHM) and you know what? I honestly can say that while I love staying at home, there are days that I would do anything to go back to work. I miss my friends, I miss my social interaction with adults. I miss feeling that I could blow 50 bucks on whatever, and not feeling guilty about it.It's a hard world. You are going to be criticized for whatever choice you make.

lisalou

I agree with you

Jackie

You showed remarkable restraint by not drop-kicking that woman where she stood. I'm sure you had health of your trips in mind when you made the decision not to send her across the room. Bravo. Were you able to keep a straight face while you explained HOW THE WORLD WORKS?

Tortuguita

Playing devil's advocate here.I can somewhat understand the perspective, especially since she knows you're having triplets.These children are going to require an extraordinary amount of time and energy to thrive - not that they can't without you, but with any preemie, the healthiest thing for them would be to have you with them.So yeah, as a blanket statement regarding all parents, I think it's rather judgmental and rude, but I can definitely understand the concern based on your specific situation and the unique needs your children are going to have.

Wabi

Seriously, what a jackhole. I would have cold cocked her. (Actually, I would have let my three-year-old do it and then would say "Oopps, there's that lack of parenting again! Off to work I go ..."

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