I love* it when people tell me that making things happen in my life is just a matter of prioritizing and "making the time" to do things. Take, for example, the fact that I really need to see a dentist. Really, really need to see a dentist. I also really need to see my neurologist. But I really can't find the time to make either one happen.
"Oh," they** say, "You have to make the time. You need to reprioritize."
And: "You make time for your kids anytime they need an appointment, you must make the time for yourself."
Or then there's this gem: "If you don't take care of you, you can't take care of anyone else."
As if anything is as easy as any of that. Sure, I can make the time. But the only time left to make is taking time out of sleep - and, um, there's not a lot of that time left, because I've already taken a lot of that time out for other stuff. And, um, hello? My dentist isn't open at 3am. It's super-easy to say "just reprioritize" ... but go and try to do it.
The fact of the matter is, I'm extraordinarily good at setting priorities. How else would I survive as the fulltime-working-mother of a special-needs ADHD 5 1/2 year old and nearly 2 year old triplets? How else would I manage to juggle speech therapy for three toddlers, speech/language therapy for the J-man, developmental ped. appointments for J, parenting classes, two board memberships, NICU support groups, managing a household, my job, and the myriad of other things I juggle?
My life consists of nothing but prioritizing and reprioritizing every single minute of every single day.
What I don't love about "You just need to reprioritize" is the implication that I'm the one at fault for not making things happen. The fact is, there are only so many hours in the day, and there is never going to be a way to add more. Until I find a way to reduce the expenses in our lives by about $20K - I'm not going to be able to quit working, and until I can quit working, I'm not going to be able to make more time for things. Certainly not for things that have to be accomplished during business hours.
I just wish that people could understand this; but so few people seem to get it.
* and by "love" I mean "loathe", "detest", "hate", or "makes me want to bludgeon with a candlestick"
** You know about they (or them), right? They always know what's right for us, don't they?